Letter to an (Almost) Lost Friend

Almost fallin, almost crying
and all the seas would never fill all those nights of solitude
shared in excess, always as one
tell me now, why are you so sad?
why are you fading away?

you said nothing has been the same since i left you
but i thought I have never left you
and I did not want to let you but I had to
We never knew if being apart before
we thought our youth would last forever
but time is not really a friend of mine


How can i possibly make you understand that there is no one else
compared to you
mi dearest friend, my fucking torment
and I never left you
I never buried you, i never wanted to leave
but when time has come
life switches cycles, this cicle will never close
because bounds like this are not to be counted into earthly time


these tears are exactly what I was avoiding you
cuz I will never leave you dont worry
I promise that until the last days on my time I will have you in my mind


Even if this (somehow) metal heart is no good, I have every piece of
memory intact and the way
saturdays were the drink and puke festival,
breaking bathrooms, getting high
reaching out for the sky
those happy days in which I learn to love
and I hate myself for being this way
I hate myself, I hate everything
the distance, this pain
this flame that will never extinct


I see that those days are slowly disappearing and we are no longer
inside
trust, trust I trust you
with my life
and with every drop of blood
If i die before I wake
I´d remember all the moments that we spent
saying nonsense, smoking so many cigarrettes

I have had some more friends some of the had backstabbed me
some of them had been nice
but none of them are compared to you

Look at me in the eye, don cry
the little baby will hear your voice
look at me in the eye
and tell me Im not dead
Tell me I still have a pulse in your little crazy world
Because my skin is still brown and I have not turned white
not white for sure
I am still the same mess that we both know
Im still the same little trembling boy at the end of the class
I am the heartless monster perhaps
I am the lost one
only you can save me from this
I will be there to save you too
Because I know you have fragile and beutiful soul
I know
I know


Just dont think Im outside
Cuz I never actually left you.
Tell me im not dead
Tell me im not dead
Tell me that was a lie you tried to make me believe
Give me the opportunnity to die again some other day
not today
Because I Love You.